DAAAAm

I just realized that how much of a Bad Japanese I have become. I don't even conform to the group standards anymore, and I am becoming more of a NEET than anything. I don't feel like I am a NEET, but I kind of fall in to that category. I am not communicating with my people, it's a damm shame, but all of this happened because I thought I had to abandon an aspect of my culture to attain something, but that thing is almost meaningless and I just regret the fact that I got so lazy and shit, it's like I been going in circles and it's just one meaningless shit after another.

Am I improving, not really, I don't think so. I kind of can allow my self to be outside of the Box, and it's like all of this like going out with the girls that I go out with, and the entertainment that I immerse my self with, the thoughts that I allow my self to have is making me feel more confident as to who I am but it's not really taking me any where. I know I kind of didn't have that stable grounds, maybe I have some personality disorder, and it seams like some aspects of that is cured. All I got to do is move forward, but in this ecnomy, it's kind of getting hard. I am throwing my hands up in the air, and just in a giving up kind of stance.

I got to tell my self, that, right now, where I am is not good enough, I can't rely on magic alone. hahahaha.

double U

Here goes a Haiku:

Long ago, double effort

was needed for you to come clean

in a midst of a winter storm

You know I had a good up bringing, seriously, I am glad that I grew up in Japan, and I am very greatfull that I am part Japanese, because I can really understand the culture, I know it intuitively, and this aspect of me fuels my artistic creativity. In fact because I have been trying to separate my self from Japanese influence I think my art started to dwindle and become stale. I was not whole, I was a chicken without a head on. If only I acknowledge my Japanese heritage, I think I can be a whole. I been a Japanese for like most of my time in my life, and taking that away or trying to not see that well be like killing my self. This is all happened, the awakening to myself because of a conversation and the few CD's I bought which were ego-wrapping's new one, and Sambo-master, the dudes who sing that song from Denshya Otoko-the TV show.

I well self publish my poems here, because I can do it.

The title is "The way towards inwards"

lack of hustling

reality is stuck on my forehead

publish all this in sea weed

happiness is in the sun

then what do you call it when

the purpose of life changed to duty

to drenchthe place where no man lives where

I want to live is a tropical starsprinkle land

I couldn't feel the starsshe thought I quit but

far from itloneliness of a college girl

the purpose expandswho knows

the way inwards

I too, yes the machines symbolizes

a girls obsession, Mr Gringo

stop the Jingles

who is nine, around that time

I went and fetched batteries and

all that has been about

yo, you denied the artist

you stuck like that for it

I said that it was going to

corrupt everythingand it did

but no one listened

I got to say all this just to keep it in

the thoughts bounce off the walls

to spark some mutual interest

murals escapist resist all

of this at the same time

the plot twist persist

it's all in the name of marketing

Jonney, Mark has come up with something

truly brilliant

the love affairs grow

the waste you only know

the true sees it but they faked

pre-sees it

but who but I do, and soon

enough pressure bug invades

all aspects of creativity

it kills without a handit switches the key

only loneliness spawns the

evil versethe curse torn in little remorse

who will do it, who will shoot

the heights and sacrifices

invisible eyes revealwhole

some but stilldouble sighted outlandish

marking pens

who is this ask Ms. Spears the spells

continue, art sparks whenthe emotions are flowing

it doesn't when it's stagnate

wrong doing on the web

life is speculation who wants

to live it mentality flourishes

the seas know, recedes to

childish curses, the reaction

be gotten, no one there to care

the monsters rebelin the midst of the soldiers

awakening humanity has made it's match

it don't make no money mentality

stop blocking me"greed in ego life; super sayian

only you got to changeto make sure all has not

More

That's jenny Suville, and she is cool, you know a nice 90's artist don't heart too much.

This is how I feel after I open my bills, and survey my conditions financially.

sharing images I like

I don't know the artist but this one certainly says something about our country. I mean look at it.

I like the Damien

You know Damien Hirst has a point, and I can't help my self but to take in some of his sayings.


"Art goes on in your head," he says. "If you said something interesting, that might be a title for a work of art and I'd write it down. Art comes from everywhere. It's your response to your surroundings. There are on-going ideas I've been working out for years, like how to make a rainbow in a gallery. I've always got a massive list of titles, of ideas for shows, and of works without titles"

that might be true, and that might a new direction for art.